I am a guy who likes systems. I like things in order, neat and organized. I like to have things well planned out and without incident; I like control. I realized this week that I haven’t given God complete control over my life. What I mean by this is that because I find safety in order and convenience I totally disregarded what options God may have in store for me. As I begin my last year here are CBU I find myself looking to the future, and It’s not where I thought it was going to be. Please allow me to explain.
I love middle school ministry and my job. I actually look forward to the chaos I experience during our mid-week program, and for what ever reason I feel that God has called me to this little part of ministry. From this passion I have formulated a vision of what I want to see happen within the lives of middle school students…a revolution within their heart, soul and mind. I want to see them running to the Father with arms wide open, tears in their eyes, and a PASSION in their hearts for the lost! I believe that this can happen and will in time. However, this vision can come at a cost, a sacrifice. It is possible that this cost is too high for some. For this zeal is life changing and engulfing. To do this is to deny one’s self. There would be no room for anything else. This is my problem. As with life, I have bills to pay, need gas for the car, sleep for the body, food to eat, and God will provide. I believe this with all my heart, yet, I need to be careful not to be taken advantage of by the institution and stand up for what is right.
As I mentioned above, my future is uncertain at this time. I am now heavily considering going to another seminary out of state and looking at ministry with fresh lenses. Exciting things are about to happen. I must be diligent in seeking God’s choice instead of my own. What I learned: the path of ministry is NOT based upon baking cookie, meaning I follow a recipe (Thanks Peirpoint), its about seeking God and following where he leads you.
I will comment on the details of the last Catalyst session later…hold fast!